"What I Did This Weekend", or "lulz". - blog by Makbawehuh

 


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"What I Did This Weekend", or "lulz".
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Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 08:02 PM (20:02) by Makbawehuh

Sooooooooooooo........ My sister broke up with her boyfriend and he took... Pretty much everything of importance with him and left for Illinoise (I think?) where he's going to try and get back together with his ex wife. He took the router, he took the modem, he took the grow lights and the pot that my sister was (legally!) growing and which amounts to half her income.

This weekend was her first weekend alone without him, and she very, very much did not want to be alone. I can't really blame her. She's been trying to make stuff work with this guy for like, a year and a half, and she's not used to being alone.

So I went over. What was supposed to be like... A day and a half? Two days, tops? Turned into three and a half days.

Day one: We wake up and play Halo. I hate that game, but I bought it to play with her because she loves it, and I was having some fun with it because she was enjoying herself. She taught me how to change my armor color (this is very important stuff!) because she was all pink in the snow after I blew her up, and I wanted to be all blueish instead of crappy green. Midway through this out mom calls to see if we would take my brother till he moves into his new place (still dealing with fallout from FUCK!) because he's driving my parents nuts. We all love him, but... Yeah.

My sister was like "Yeah, sure, no problem, we're just playing Xbox right now. Going to bring him by in a couple days? Mak's here now. Okay? Love you. Bye." *kicks the shit out of me in Halo*

Five minutes later my brother calls wanting to know if he could come over that day, because... He'd heard from Mom that we were playing Xbox. She and I were like "Aw, crap. There goes our girls-cussing-at-each-other-and-kicking-the-crap-out-of-everything time!"

Nevertheless, we let him crash the party. Now, my brother, I think i've said, has made -great- improvements in things like empathy and generally dealing with people, so his presence is tolerable. But! He still has no sense of boundaries, no understanding of social mores, and FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!

HE CAN'T CONVERSE IN A STRAIGHT LINE!

I mean, I always knew he could talk and talk and talk and talk and never say a damned thing, but I didn't really pay anything he said much attention because... Dude, he's my brother. Why would I listen to a word he says?

Well, with the three of us cooped up together, I had to *try* and be social and converse with him. He literally jumps from topic to topic that have... Almost nothing to do with whatever topic is at hand. Seriously, we went from my sister's boyfriend maybe getting back with his ex to HDMI cables to whatever Mike Tyson did in his last fight in about two seconds, and me, my sister, and my sister's friend all sorta stared at each other. The friend had "WTF?" writ large all over her face, and all my sister and I could do was mouth "He does it all the time" at her behind his back. His conversations are an ode to the work of Eris, but Holy Goddess Blessit, it gets annoying after a while.

Also, he's a total fucking asshole when he's stoned. When he sobered up I chewed his ass out up one way and down the other, and told him that his "I haven't smoked in a while" excuse didn't cut it. Being stoned was -not- an excuse for dickishness. The first day he was there my sister decided to smoke him out, since she's a nice stoner and considers it only polite to share what she's got.

We had dinner and stuff and made my brother throw a fit when we had to go to bed and he HAD TO TURN OFF HIS XBOX! OH MY GODS!

Day two: We got up and stuff, and we played Halo on a three-way for a bit with my brother, till he got angry that we ganged up on him a couple (Five... Six times?) times and killed him in Slayer mode (He won anyways) and shut off his Xbox and started ranting about how someone had stolen his pipe and his other one was at his friends house in the town eight miles away and somehow all this relates to us ganging up on him in Halo when he was kicking the shit out of us anyways... Yeah, we lost track of the (one-sided) conversation at that point, but it went on a while.

So we decided, you know, he knows how to cook, he's on his meds, if we take the pot he can't get into it... Lets go to the coast! So we did. Sort of.

On our way there we blew a tire. Like, out in the middle of nowhere. so we changed the tire... Or rather, my sister changed the tire, and I held the lug nuts for her. People kept passing us as we (it took two of us to turn the tire iron) tried to get the lug nuts off initially, and she commented how nice it would be to have a man around to loosen them for us a little bit. Instead, people kept driving by till we were DONE and putting stuff away... Then this cute little old man gets out of his car and helps us tighten the lug nuts back up. Don't get me wrong, his help was appreciated very, very much appreciated. Had it been left as we had it, no doubt the tire would have fallen off five miles down the road.

So we went to the next town, which was about twenty miles down the road, and and the Les Schwabs was CLOSED! CLOSED! And we were like FUCK!

But the guy there was really nice and changed our tire anyways. I offered to pay and to tip him for working after hours, but he said to just come back next time we needed tires. We were like "ZOMGWELOVEYOU!".

Then we went to the beach! Finally! We got there and it was COLD! And WINDY! And the dog was HAPPY! And we were like SCREW THIS SHIT!

So we spent about three minutes on the beach and went back to the car.

We passed a Mexican food place and made fun of the people there, cause we were looking for seafood. I mean seriously. Who goes to the coast and gets Mexican food? People who don't like seafood, obviously. Why the hell are they at the coast then? Grrr.

So, we found a seafood place my sister had been to and said was good, and we were like YAYFOOD!

And then I discovered I'd left my wallet at the Les Schwabs. With... A rather large sum of money in it that I had withdrawn from the bank in order to get my sister new grow lights. If you know how much those cost, then you have a fair idea of how much I had in there, cause we needed two of them.

The Les Schwabs was about a half an hour down the road at this point.

I frantically called the police, who called the owners, who got someone out there to retrieve my wallet, and we hauled ass back to the town where the shop was. I managed to obtain my wallet unharmed and with all my money in it, and by that time it was nearly ten at night... There were only two restaurants open in town other than fast food at this point: One Mexican, and one Chinese.

Suffice it to say, we went to the Chinese place in order to avoid the irony of being the people who go to the coast and eat mexican food. Got home veeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrry late, and she had to be at work at 4 AM.

Day three: Exhausted. Sister went into work and I was like "Craaaaaaaaaaaaaap. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep." and when I finally woke up, I played Oblivion and just sorta chilled and ignored my brother while I waited for her to get home. She was supposed to be home by 12:30 or 1:00 PM, and when five o'clock rolled around I sent my brother out to call our mom. The minute he walked out the front door, she walked in the back door, and I was like "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT! You don't need to go call. Kay? thnx!"

Now, all weekend we were supposed to go do laundry, and it never happened because of the way things fell out, and I had... Like, no work-appropriate clothes left. I hadn't been able to do laundry in a month, it kinda sucked. So I got my sister to take me to the laundry mat, and we had my brother come along to discourage other men with his presence and to make phone calls and run errands, right?

Well, we got everything going, and went to the store to pick up a couple magazines to read (Scientific American for me, some gaming magazine for him), and when we had gotten back there was this SERIOUSLY CREEPY GUY THERE. Okay, MEEP. I CANNOT HELP BEING A CUTE GIRL WITH HUGE TITS. I DID NOT DO IT ON PURPOSE SO THAT NASTY OLD MEN CAN HIT ON ME!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!11!

He seriously spent the next fifteen minutes or so (at first) politely trying to make small talk that made me want to rip his face off. If I wanted to converse with him, I'd have initiated it. Instead, I politely sniped at him and insulted his clothing, his age, his sexual prowess, and just about everything else I could think of. I apparrently did it in words that were too big for him, because he gave me blank, idiotic looks and kept hitting on me.

My brother got pissed off at that point and LEFT. HE LEFT. HE FUCKING LEFT ME ALONE WITH THAT GUY!

And predictibly, as soon as the testosterone in the room was halved, the guy tried to go in for the kill. I spent the next hour talking in monosyllables and giving him dirty looks. I finally got him to slow down and mostly shut up when we got onto the subject of religion, and he became convinced that I was some sort of member of an all female cult of whatever. Seriously, people think weird stuff. I explained to him politely that I was Discordian, and he wanted to know what we *did*. And I was like "What do you mean?" and he was like "What do you do?" and I was like... "We promote chaos, usually through harmless pranks like sending random people sheep erasers in the mail."

Him: "Well, that's not a religion!"

Me: "Neither is going to church. You asked what we -did-."

Him: "You got me! Tell me more."

Me: "Go online to www.principiadiscordia.com."

Him: "Oh, I don't do internet. I'm too old for computers."

Me: "My great grandfather is ninety something and just started his own business online two years ago. He knew nothing about the internet before he started, and his business is running well and making a profit even in the recession. Age is no excuse for not learning."

Him, in a most proud manner: "Well how about this: I just don't give a crap about any of this new technoligical bullCRAP!"

Me: "If you want to remain woefully ignorant and keep your head in the sand that's your business, but it doesn't change that a plethora of information is most easily found on the internet."

Him: *blank look, long silence*

Me: *sigh of relief*

Him: "So... What do I need to do to get you and your female cohort of pranksters to mess with me?"

Me: *innocent look* "Who said my cohorts were women?"

Him: *another blank look and silence*

Me, continueing innocently: "To my knowledge, Discordianism was founded by and continues to be primarily made up of men."

Him: *studiously folds clothes!*

Me: *praises the occasional usefulness of the latent homophobia that permeates our society. grins and finishes laundry*

And then I went back to my sisters after we got our brother, and we ate dinner and went to bed, and only got a few hours of sleep because our brother would NOT TURN DOWN THE MUSIC ON HIS FUCKING XBOX!

And then I got up and she took me home and I went to work.

THE END.
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  1. Old Comment
    ouinon's Avatar
    WOW!!! What an amazing blog piece! I was on the edge of my chair, well, metaphorically, consumed by suspense, anxiety, sympathy, laughter, concern, fascination, etc. Obviously I don't know how frank/open you are really being but it feels stunningly honest, which is such fun to read. Thank you very much for another brilliantly vivid picture of your life.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 08:26 PM (20:26) by ouinon ouinon is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Addendum: When I got home, I chewed my brother's ass out for leaving me with Mr. Creepfuck. We then had to have a long discussion about how he did not need to bring knives, he just needed to -be- there because his presence would be enough.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 08:28 PM (20:28) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Thank you so much, Ouinon. I may not have gon on about this recently, but I hate liars... Everything in there is 100% true, or as true as my memory of the last few days allows. Some of it's a bit blurry, cause so much happened, and that guy -really- ticked me off.

    Thanks a lot. I'm really glad you liked it! ^__^
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 08:40 PM (20:40) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  4. Old Comment
    ouinon's Avatar
    [ Edit. ... I hate liars too. I need data to be reliable. I didn't mean that I thought you might have lied, but that so many people, including me sometimes, have a tendency to round up, or down, airbrush a bit, when telling their stories, and I got the impression that yours didn't at all, which "raw" honesty/directness I admire and enjoy. ]

    This sort of thing ( in the laundrette ) used to happen to me a lot too, ( before my hair went prematurely grey and white, and I suddenly developed wrinkles after 40-plus years of clear skin which people were always complimenting me on, I'm 46 ), and I never used to know how to stem the tide of tedious, unwanted, brain-numbingly boring remarks either. People, read men, seemed to be astonishingly impervious to my discomfort and total non-interest in them, as if they were even less able to read body language than I am supposed to be, ( and have realised that I often am in social situations requiring a response ), unless it's because, horrible thought, I was unwittingly sending out all the wrong body signals.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 08:41 PM (20:41) by ouinon ouinon is offline
    Updated 19-Mar-2010 at 08:52 PM (20:52) by ouinon
  5. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    {Ah! I understand better now. Yeah, I noticed there's a tendency to do that, but I find that most stories are funnier when you leave that sort of thing out. I mean, real life is already outrageously funny, stupid, and generally weird, and needs no embellishment.}

    No, I don't think it's you. I think I mentioned that my littlest sister's dad has aspergers, and he -does- pick up on body language and the like better than some "normal" people (such as the "gentleman" at the laundromat) seem to be capable of.

    Another addendum: Creepfuck told me at one point that I ought to go over and fold his laundry because it's "women's work". I -swear- he said it. I told him I was folding what I did because it was my sisters, and I don't even fold my own. I also commented that I barbeque, fix my own car, and mow my own lawn. And he was like "Well, you aren't married!" and I was like "No, but I also follow the maxim that if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself." *got silence for a bit*
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 09:21 PM (21:21) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    He needs Ritalin.

    And it's easy to open up an XBox and lay awry a wire, just one. Just sayin'.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 09:27 PM (21:27) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    We did Ritalin at one point with him, and I forget exactly what happened, but it was bad. Sad to say, right now he's the best he's ever been, and he's on like... Four medications just to keep him this sane.

    Diagnosis is bipolar, chronic depression, PTSD, and severe paranoia. It took us so long to get him to this point with medications (relative normality as opposed to mood swings, really massively dark depression even while manic, flashbacks, and an inability to stay in touch with reality because of the paranoia)that we're all hesitant to screw up the mix again, him included.

    He means well, but he obsesses really bad. The only thing that kept him from having a diagnosis of Asperger's himself (to top everything else off!) is the fact that he grew up around my sister's father, and the doctor was convinced the obsessing was learned.

    Learned or not, stuff that's "stolen" or not working right or when he feels slighted still gets kinda out-there responses ("I'm gonna bring a knife next time we go out!" "...No, dear, I just need you to -be- there.") and, along with his gaming rig and computers, are the things he spends most of his time on.

    What he's on has taken him from starting fires and trying to kill our littlest sister, to just kinda nutty. He might drive me nuts, but it's better than the alternative.

    FYI: My brother is a prime example of why assholes shouldn't hit their children. He was fine till my biological father kicked him in the head as a toddler. He started having major issues right after that. Normal? Thanks to our loving father, the poor kid's never known it.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 09:50 PM (21:50) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    I remember now! Ritalin gave him a really bad tick that prompted a misdiagnosis of Tourette's and a hellish couple of years because the medication he was on for the Tourette's he didn't have made his bipolar way, way, way worse.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 10:01 PM (22:01) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Oh, Ouinon: I -did- once manage to get a guy who was being an idiot like that to stop. He was doing it at work of all places, and wouldn't stop.

    I summoned up my most disparaging "valley girl looking at a bad perm" look, and said "You know, you're really creepy. You kinda remind me of an axe murderer and I keep expecting you to like, chop me up or something. -Ew-."

    He shut up, went back to his work, and almost immediately 1) shaved 2) took a bath 3) started paying attention to what people around him were -actually- saying and doing and 3) generally stopped being creepy.

    He's also never breathed a word in my direction since.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 10:20 PM (22:20) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  10. Old Comment
    ouinon's Avatar
    lol

    About your brother; has your family tried a gluten-free diet with him?

    Non-celiac gluten-intolerance can cause all kinds of neurological problems, ranging from neuropathy ( incl. loss of control and sensation in peripheral parts of body ), ataxia, apraxia, memory loss, dyslexia, through "brain-fog", zombified state, to anxiety and depression, manic-depression, and schizophrenia. There is more and more science to prove it. I even gave a presentation on the subject of diet and mental health last summer based on all the reading that I have done on the subject over the years, ( aspie "special-interest! ). I cured myself of anxiety and depression, manic-depression, brain-fog, permanent feelings of alienation, "spaced-out"ness, etc with a gluten-free diet.

    Scientists are realising that classic celiac disease ( diarrheoa, etc, affecting 1% of the population at last count ), is the least of our worries; at least 10% and perhaps as many as 25% of the population may be affected by non-celiac gluten-intolerance. Other signs of it include frequent or severe headaches, dark rings/shadows around eyes, skin problems, obesity/tendency to put on weight however little eat or however much exercise, and chronic fatigue, aswell as auto-immune diseases, eg. of the thyroid. Gluten intolerance is a serious and widespread threat to mental and physical health. It is also correlated with families with members on the autism spectrum.

    If you are interested there is a brilliant site called "The Gluten File", which has been collecting research material, articles, etc on the subject for at least three/four years now. You can find The Gluten File at: http://sites.google.com/site/jccglutenfree/

    And celiac.com also have hundreds of pages of research and analysis of non-celiac gluten-intolerance now, which are eye-opening, at: http://www.celiac.com/

    .
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 10:36 PM (22:36) by ouinon ouinon is offline
    Updated 19-Mar-2010 at 11:06 PM (23:06) by ouinon
  11. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    We haven't. I'll bring it up, but to be very frank, I don't think trying it would fly. I'm pretty easy on what I eat/don't eat (currently cutting meat out of my diet for a bit because it's starting to make me act like I've been drinking milk, for example), but my brother is like... The pasta kid. Getting him away from bread and pasta would be like pulling teeth without anesthetic.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 10:57 PM (22:57) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  12. Old Comment
    ouinon's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Makbawehuh View Comment
    My brother is like... The pasta kid. Getting him away from bread and pasta would be like pulling teeth without anesthetic.
    I logged back in to add to my previous comment, but will answer yours instead because it brings up exactly what I was going to say; that another of the classic, almost unmistakeable, signs of gluten intolerance is addiction to and craving for wheat products.

    .
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 11:02 PM (23:02) by ouinon ouinon is offline
    Updated 19-Mar-2010 at 11:08 PM (23:08) by ouinon
  13. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Interesting. I'll bring it up, but I dunno how much good it'll do. He's a grownup now, alas.

    And thanks again, Ouinon.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 11:11 PM (23:11) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  14. Old Comment
    ouinon's Avatar
    Yes, it will depend on how much he wants to feel different. It took me years ( of "stop-start" gf dieting ) to break my habit. But I never forgot how I felt after the first four days of exclusion-fast ... as if I had been living in a shopping-mall, next to an airport runway, under a motorway next to a building site, ( without realising it ), for years, and suddenly the "noise" had stopped, and I cried with relief; I felt "lighter, and clearer, than I had felt since childhood.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 11:13 PM (23:13) by ouinon ouinon is offline
  15. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    *hugs* I'm happy you felt better. I've always been an advocate of looking to diet to fix issues, because especially in this day and age it's so easy to be overfed and undernourished... I'll talk to my mom about it and look up some other sources for her as well. If anyone could convince him to give it a whirl, it'd be her.
    Posted 19-Mar-2010 at 11:32 PM (23:32) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  16. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Makbawehuh View Comment
    I remember now! Ritalin gave him a really bad tick that prompted a misdiagnosis of Tourette's and a hellish couple of years because the medication he was on for the Tourette's he didn't have made his bipolar way, way, way worse.
    Whooops, sorry, my big apologies. I did not realise he was bipolar as well.

    Then keep him the fuck off antidepressives unless he is really stable on antipsychotics first and continuing, otherwise the poor bugger really will get driven mad.

    And sorry to hear of all the hassle.
    Posted 20-Mar-2010 at 01:09 AM (01:09) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
  17. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    It's not your fault. Like I said... My dad kicked him in the head, and after that was when he started to really have issues. It took us most of his childhood and adolescence to get what was happening in his head sorted out so that we could get him help, and then the doctors kept misdiagnosing him... ADHD, Tourettes, etc, etc...

    I don't remember the actual names of most of what he's on, but the one that seems to be making the biggest difference is the seroquel. He was on some other stuff before that was making him lightheaded and fuzzy, but the seroquel seems to be doing the trick, and of all his meds, it's the one he absolutely, positively, can't do without. Like I said, he's a lot better than he was, and where he is is sort of a "sit down and cry with relief because it's not worse" deal.

    Afterthought, here: My brother actually got taken off the ritalin and stuff for tourette's after the stuff he was on for tourette's was proven to make bipolar worse, and his mood swings were way the hell out of control. Looking back the other stuff was definately there and an issue, but it's hard to say whether he was already bipolar, or whether the tourette's medications exacerbated the issue. Definately there's a genetic component- Our father displays a lot of symptoms of someone who's bipolar and untreated.
    Posted 20-Mar-2010 at 01:42 AM (01:42) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
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