Dignity and Companionship - blog by iamwombat


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Dignity and Companionship
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Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 12:35 AM (00:35) by iamwombat

Recently several people I have known passed away. Some were old and others not so old, just afflicted with illness that could not be treated. Those left living repeat many of the same laments about losing a loved one, and many of them were not present for the last act of the one they miss now. The cultural social fabric I have been brought up in, here in America, does not teach or prepare us to accept death or to be very able to handle it in others. We shun the sick, elderly and afflicted as if their demise might somehow contaminate us. We don't like to be reminded that we are mortal.

I offer the least difficult knowledge I have come by for anyone in the position of caring about an end to another's life. Share their journeys end with them if at possible. Do it in the physical sense if you can, hold them. Speak to them of the good memories you share, and do this even after they stop breathing. It is possible that the brain processes auditory signals up to twelve minutes after heart and respiratory function ends. Comfort, pure and simple. Assurance of your love and concern and your gladness at having beenable to know them.

I think that death is final. I don't believe we travel away with any cognition of what we were or did in this place. I don't know if energy of some sort stays behind, I doubt it. The memory and legacy in written and constructed acts are all anyone leaves behind. Suffering ends and no Hell awaits to torment any of us I am sure.

So to be remembered well could certainly be importent, both to the one leaving and to those left behind. But more importent I feel is to not be alone when it's time to go. I would hold anyone in my arms while the light goes out and have. Some of you have as well and know that the experience is not the kind of thing you can teach. It is hands on as is living. Support the bereft and fill the void if you can. We all must go one day. Let it be with dignity and company, and without misery if at all possible. Misery does not love company after all, love alone can be the difference between the two.
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  1. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    *hugs for iamwombat and family*
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:45 AM (07:45) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  2. Old Comment
    iamwombat's Avatar
    Thank you Maku, I will pass my hugs received around. :^)
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 06:07 PM (18:07) by iamwombat iamwombat is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:07 PM (19:07) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    Great post!
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:33 PM (19:33) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    Tweeted over @The_Heathens, and will Facebook soon on the Hub Facebook page:

    iamwombat of the Hub blogs on "#Dignity and #Companionship" (#death, #bereavement) blog post: http://heathen-hub.com/blog.php?b=1557
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:48 PM (19:48) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
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