My Brother is a Dipshit (reprise) - blog by Makbawehuh


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My Brother is a Dipshit (reprise)
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Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 08:51 AM (08:51) by Makbawehuh
Updated 08-Apr-2012 at 08:58 AM (08:58) by Makbawehuh

I posted a post entitled "My Brother is a Dipshit" some time ago, and given the events of this weekend, I feel it is necessary to revisit this subject. It is very relevant to my life right now.

Since I do not have the emotional or mental power to make any kind of proper story of it, or even to be outraged right this instant, I am just going to go in a sort of blow by blow manner.

I went to visit my parents for Easter weekend, since we are having family get-together. After I'd gotten there and all settled in, my brother called and asked if he could come over and make brownies. My mom, trusting him (her kid, you know) to come over and use the kitchen in a safe and sane way, said okay.

He proceeded to come over and make pot brownies. Against the house rules, but something I would rather shrug at on it's own, since, really, wtf else can we expect from the dumbass?

But we didn't know they were pot brownies until later.

Where even I start to have major issues, is that when he was finished with the batteer, he offered to let our little sister lick the bowl.

This kid would live on chocolate if she could, but she took a taste and said she didn't want more because, well, it was nasty.

And when I say "this kid", I do mean it. My little sister is thirteen.

All I can say, is that with everything else, I am so glad she didn't get enough to do any damage.

You see, when the brownies were finished, he proceeded to offer one to our mom. He told her he'd used honey butter in the brownies (look it up, I don't feel like looking up the pot-slang), and gave her one. She ate half the brownie, mostly to be polite, and I caught what was going on just in time to hear him say that they were Adult Brownies.

My poor mother, the poor thing, just thought he had some really rancid butter and didn't want to share with the little sister. I caught the subtext and asked for a brownie, and he refused to give me one (no, I wasn't interested in actually eating it. I happen to know what pot tastes like, and I wanted to have something to hand over to the police when they inevitably showed up, had he handed me one), because he knows damned good and well that the jig would have been up, and I'd have made sure the police were pulled in.

I did not, however, realize that my mother had actually eaten some.

She set about making dinner, and after some discussion between my parents and I, we came to the conclusion that they were pot brownies, and he wasn't going to be welcome back into the house for a while.

And then my mother lost touch with reality. Just out of the blue, she started wailing that nothing was real and that she thought she was dying, because something was wrong.

Please bear in mind, this is not funny at all. My parents both have major, major, major health issues. If something is that wrong, it means you need to get them to the hospital ASAP, and pray they make it there. She had every reason to think she was actually dying.

My dad had me get on the emergency line to get some paramedics in, and it was while I was talking to them that I made the connection between "pot brownies" and "Mom is freaking out".

We got the paramedics in, and my mom was still having hysterics. Obviously, all they could do was tell us to keep her hydrated and keep an eye on her.

Note: During all this, my dad called my brother to try to find out for sure what was in the brownies. He denied four times that he put anything into them. We found the measuring cup he'd melted the butter in later. Shit reeks of pot.

I did the best I could to keep things sane, but let's face it: When your fifty year old mother is screaming that she's dying and she wants her mommy, who she hasn't spoken to in over twenty years, when she's wailing that nothing is real, or (when she could remember what was actually going on) that she couldn't believe any child of hers would do this to her, and that she's looking for the devil so that she can try to get out of hell...

...Yeah. I tried to get my little sister out of the house, but she saw a good deal of it. She was having hysterics and thinking mom was dying, because Mom thought she was dying.

I was up last night, all night, doing damage control because that little fucking asshole decided it would be cute to pull a pot prank.

My mother had hysterics like that for four hours before she started to calm down, and it took us another two or three to get her calm enough and feeling safe enough to sleep. She wouldn't sleep before, because it was scary.

Today I have been vacillating between a homicidal rage, and exhaustion. At the end of the day, exhaustion has won out, and I'm beginning to drag my tattered armor of black humor around myself again... But holy fuck. Holy. Fuck.

You know, I went to the store with my little sister this morning. Obviously she knows that mom isn't dying now, but when this sweet kid look up at you sand says that she wants her brother dead for hurting our mom like that, and for trying to hurt her...

You know, that broke my heart for her. A lot. Not a little. Who the fuck did he think he was, to pull this shit? Who the fuck does he think he is, to act in a way that leaves this sweet kid -that- angry? And what the fuck was he thinking, to do that to our mom?

Just as bad in it's own way, is that when we tried to get ahold of the police (again, this morning. We had them over last night and things were a bit too hectic to get much done with), to give them the cup we found, the little batter he'd neglected to clean up, things of that nature... They refused to take it. They refused to even take a REPORT. He is going to have absolutely zero fucking consequences from this, because the god damned police will not get up off their fucking asses.

I just... I don't know. When I'm angry, at least everything is clear and makes sense in a bullheaded, we are doing this now sort of way. Now I'm tired, and I can't fit the pieces together in my head.

Suffice it to say, he is not welcome back until he can prove he's been clean for a while.

A very. long. while.

In other news: Yes, I'm still doing Script Frenzy, though I'm a bit behind as of today. For perhaps obvious reasons, I didn't write yesterday, and I was too damned dazed to write today.

I'll post stats eventually.
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  1. Old Comment
    iamwombat's Avatar
    In my book that amounts to poisoning someone. I wonder if a call to the Poison Center would create a record that the Police would have to respond to? Though invasive, a simple urine analysis would also be good to have as evidence perhaps. CPS might also be an avenue to pursue regarding your younger sister. That is a crime beyond giving an adult a controlled substance without their knowledge.

    I hope your Mom is alright beyond the physical side effects. That is a huge trust issue for the future now, between her & dipshit, as well as all other family members.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 06:15 PM (18:15) by iamwombat iamwombat is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    Hugs, Maku. Use ultra-violence as a teaching mechanism.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 06:52 PM (18:52) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    We got a home drug test, and we're paying to have a laboratory test it as well. Mom came out positive for THC on it, so... Yeah.

    CPS is out of the picture. We have had so many bad experiences with their fucking meddling in our affairs, we do not want them involved. Period. Ever. For anything. Fuck CPS.

    Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time CPS has fucked shit up for my family, I would be a -very- rich woman. No.

    My mom is fine today, though. Just upset. She kept hoping the drug test would come up negative, and this has been... It's hard for all of us, but I think it's the worst for her. I feel bad for her.

    You did give us a good idea in a roundabout sort of way, though:

    The judge in the area who oversees my brother's stuff was my mom's lawyer when she shot at her neighbo- Uh, murdered the grass in her front yard. They're friendly, so she is going to write him a letter, just so he knows what's going on and can take it into consideration. My brother isn't on probation, exactly, but he isn't free to do whatever, either, so one way or another, we can bring down legal consequences, maybe. If nothing else, we can try to get it on his record. Eventually, it will pile up and he will go to prison... Which my brother has said is what he wants to do, so he will be pleased!

    I have to assume he thinks prison will make him a badass. *snorts*

    Thanks, iamwombat. *hugs*
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 06:58 PM (18:58) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Gurdur View Comment
    Hugs, Maku. Use ultra-violence as a teaching mechanism.
    This is so packed with win, there are no words.

    And if he shows up to Easter dinner, it may be a thing. It may very much be a thing.

    One of our family friends has spent time working with people like my brother, and says she thinks his next move will be to try to commit suicide. We heard this, and sort of looked at each other...

    The general sentiment is that his friends had better care more than they seem to, because right now, none of us care to step in and keep an eye on him. Someone (I don't remember who, now) suggested getting out the shotgun and helping him along.

    The whole situation is very sad.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:00 PM (19:00) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  5. Old Comment
    iamwombat's Avatar
    I understand your feelings regarding CPS, I've worked with and against them myself and know how badly an unqualified social worker can mess up a family. I was thinking just along the lines of a minor being given a drug by a legal adult. Apologies for bringing up a negative when your already dealing with a negative.

    One other thing occurred to me, if he refined the 'honey oil' for the butter himself that would be manufacturing a drug. It's relatively simple to do, and that concentrates the THC, which when ingested is a hallucinogen.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:27 PM (19:27) by iamwombat iamwombat is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    Tweeted over @The_Heathens:

    Makbawehuh of the Hub blogs on her brother. Somewhat irritably, but understandably so: #life #brothers

    and will Facebook it soon on the Hub Facebook page
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 07:50 PM (19:50) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Thank you, Gurdur. I wasn't actually expecting to be tweeted.

    And, yeah... I know what you meant, iamwombat. The problem is that CPS had a hand in my not-quite-kidnapping after my parents divorced, which was strictly legal under the law, and they had more than a small hand in my brother's upbringing, and I'm sorry... Up to this point, they have never taken a right turn with him. We are all very determined to do our best to keep them well away from our sister. Police, yes, where my brother is concerned. But my sister? She doesn't need that shit, and neither do we.

    We had mom on the phone with her old pastor yesterday, as soon as things had mostly settled down. The man's been around the block once, twice, a few... uhm, many times, lol. We were talking to him and some other people we know about how THC affects people when ingested, so we knew about the hallucinogen thing.

    Truth be told, we're all just very grateful things did not come out worse. Mom is still weird and dizzy off and on today, so she is napping now. Daddy got out of the house to go mail stuff off, and get out... I'm watching the kidlet and the turkey and just sort of zoning and trying not to cry. Two days later, the rage has subsided, and I am ready to have my breakdown quietly and away from people, now.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 08:26 PM (20:26) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    My mind is a terrible place... it keeps going to... What if it had been rat poison? What if it had been something really hard? What if our sister had finished licking the bowl?

    It didn't, and I keep trying to remind myself to stick to "what is" and not "what if", but man, it's hard sometimes.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 08:28 PM (20:28) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Gurdur's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Makbawehuh View Comment
    My mind is a terrible place... it keeps going to... What if it had been rat poison? What if it had been something really hard? What if our sister had finished licking the bowl?

    It didn't, and I keep trying to remind myself to stick to "what is" and not "what if", but man, it's hard sometimes.
    Use ultra-violence, but don't overdo the moral slamming. Pretty sure your bro would not have done rat-poison, that's just the anger twisting perception.

    I.e. hit him up and down, hit him while he's on the ground, but not for the wrong things.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 10:21 PM (22:21) by Gurdur Gurdur is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Ya, I know. I was aware of that at the time, but it didn't keep me from trying to go there. Keeping my mind on "what is", is hard, but I am dedicated.

    What he did was enough.

    Thank you, Gurdur, for being here and wise and stuff.
    Posted 08-Apr-2012 at 10:32 PM (22:32) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  11. Old Comment
    iamwombat's Avatar
    I get into trouble alot for having become hard wired to the "what if" way of thinking. Consequences, permutations, alternatives and plain old shit happens...... do indeed happen. But about now you should be thinking fresh baked turkey sammies on dinner rolls. : ) Gurdur would likely 'live-trap' your bro and release him at the top of Mt. Hood in his undies. (your brother in undies, not Gurdur)
    Posted 09-Apr-2012 at 02:33 AM (02:33) by iamwombat iamwombat is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Ugh, turkey on Easter. We had some, but only because the turkey was thawed when I bought the lamb, and I did not know it.

    The lamb was bitchin, though, and since only half the people we thought were going to show up, showed up, there's a -lot- of leftovers.

    I am such a happy girl. *loves lamb* --->
    Posted 09-Apr-2012 at 02:36 AM (02:36) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  13. Old Comment
    muddleglum's Avatar
    You might take in consideration that your brother probably wasn't thinking clearly because of drugs. Be kind to him after working off the rage, but don't trust him, fer sure. Sic'ing the judge on him sounds like a kindness to me. Hope it works in more ways than one.
    Posted 09-Apr-2012 at 04:16 PM (16:16) by muddleglum muddleglum is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    You know, Muddleglum, he's made some seriously shitty choices about how he wants to live his life, and he's been making them for quite a few years. No doubt his mind was cloudy and drugged when he did it, and no doubt that he's been choosing this lifestyle for years.

    Mercy, compassion, and kindness have never been my strong suites, and asking me to apply them here would require more effort than I'm capable of. I hope someone else can manage it, because the person who can, is not going to be me.

    And, sic'ing the judge on him, is better than he deserves.
    Posted 10-Apr-2012 at 12:25 AM (00:25) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  15. Old Comment
    muddleglum's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Makbawehuh View Comment
    And, sic'ing the judge on him, is better than he deserves.
    That's mercy. I'm not talking extremism. I'm talking about smacking him on the side of the head if that would help him, not just to feel better. If nothing you can do will help him, it is still love to smack him and keep him away from hurting others. Gurdur said it well.
    Posted 10-Apr-2012 at 03:20 AM (03:20) by muddleglum muddleglum is offline
  16. Old Comment
    iamwombat's Avatar
    "Gurdur said it well."

    Gurdur owns a Zombie Hand Cannon too, he's used to that ultra-violence stuff.

    As for addled brains as an excuse: he went through a few steps in preparedness to get from assembly of ingredients to finished product. I personally don't mind his choice of drug, it's the abject lack of respect and care for others that I find FKD up.
    Posted 10-Apr-2012 at 04:32 AM (04:32) by iamwombat iamwombat is offline
  17. Old Comment
    muddleglum's Avatar
    Originally Posted by iamwombat View Comment
    As for addled brains as an excuse:
    Certainly not as an excuse!
    If I fed you rat poison, it would be cold-blooded murder. I'm in my right mind. This stupidity is different.
    Perhaps someday the "punishment" for being on drugs would be frying the neurons in the brain that drives the addiction. Would that keep her brother from pulling stupid practical jokes? No.
    But at least his judgement wouldn't be so bad and a few smacks on the head by Makbawehuh would more likely set up the boundaries he needs.
    Posted 10-Apr-2012 at 03:52 PM (15:52) by muddleglum muddleglum is offline
  18. Old Comment
    Makbawehuh's Avatar
    Alas, he's old enough that a few smacks on the head, no matter how badly needed, is illegal, and he's smart enough to land me in prison for it.

    I was talking to my mom last night, though, and we are both wondering if this is not some sort of really twisted kind of revenge that bit him in the ass harder than he expected. We've had some incidents lately where he did not come out on top, and from his past behavior it's... Exactly the sort of thing he'd do, in terms of underhandedness and methodology. He's got a history of that sort of shit, and it's when he's not bitching about how horrible you are for not doing shit for him (which he hasn't been, lately) when you know he's up to something.

    So there's that possibility, too.
    Posted 11-Apr-2012 at 01:45 AM (01:45) by Makbawehuh Makbawehuh is offline
  19. Old Comment


    "Please bear in mind, this is not funny at all."

    Really? Because I'm laughing my ass off!
    Posted 25-May-2012 at 05:21 AM (05:21) by Unregistered
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